Offering soul, seeking God!.:
This book title about describes my frame of mind at the time…
I mean, I always believed that there's a God. I grew up baptised as a Roman Catholic Christian. But not until too long ago, I've experienced that there really is a God, and that most people are angry at him. Angry because he doesn't do what they want Him to do, and not as fast as they'd like it to happen. But let me tell you, that's not what it's about! You don't give God deadlines, and you just don't blackmail Him to do things for you. God works in mysterious ways, which means that there won't be a lightning bolt and no miraculous wonder will take place when He complies with your wishes…
The deeper I dive into faith, belief, however you wish to call it, the more astounded I am about really which tough guys are believers as I am too! Duane Chapman, Juergen Fuerwitt (called Jay from ADK), Collin Bell, Delirious? and so on, and so forth!
In my brain there's still this picture of this misery stricken Christian, not being happy about having to admit that he believes in something Higher. I've experienced all my life that believing is boring, that we can't smile about it, nor admit it in public, nor having fun at church, because that's how the Roman Catholic Church feels to me, and lots of other people too btw.
Back in 1997 I've asked (knowingly) for God's help. I ran to the ..:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />
Next time I was asking for God's help in the year 2005 (and that was not for me, but for my old mother). I was just diagnosed with a life threatening disease (so I thought), and I felt I was about to die, and someone just had to take care of my old mother, when that would happen. And *wham* my miracle happened! I went to the hospital's chapel and gave thanks to the Lord, our saviour! I went and prayed there with a friend, who is in a much worse health wise position, than I ever was. And what can I tell you? God granted my wish. He provided new housing for my old mother. The government even pays for it. And if her health turns worse than it is right now, she's well taken care of. The social workers are prepared to offer continuous and further help with all medical AND social needs for the elderly there. Now what do you say? What a coincidence? No way!
When I asked God to back me up with a person I wanted to break up – HE took care of the situation. I never had to deal with this person again. *wham*
When I prayed to the Lord up above to make life easier on me, that I could work less hours, have more money, have my depths taken care of, have a nicer environment to live in, that He would handle even my fight against a big phone company – He took care of it!!!
(John 10,10) The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly. Joyce explained the meaning: …but I will come so you'll enjoy, and have an overflowing, abundant life, to its fullest!
You don't receive, because you don't ask! But He has the bigger picture. He who resides in heaven works on His own time schedule. And beware of what you ask him for, because it just might come true…
What I mean? Well I asked – to tell you the whole truth – for 25.000 Euros. But they weren't just simply on my bank account, or as a cheque in my mail. No!
In my specific case, having more time for my family and friends meant that I got seriously ill. Which made me be retired now, two years later, yes. But through that my insurances had and have to pay and provide my income, pay off my loan. I have a good way of living now, lots of time on my hands to think about how I want to spend the rest of my life. So the money flows in little chunks, but I don't have to worry about the money situation ever again! And if you would add it all up, yeah, it might be an estimated 25 grand, I don't exactly know.
That's not how I meant I to be 'having more time, having to work less' *lol*
But it did come true!
(Zechariah 9,12) Turn you to the strong hold, ye prisoners of hope: even to day do I declare that I will render double unto thee; Joyce taught: you will be paid back double, receive doubled blessings for former troubles, worries, difficulties, promised by God!
Sure other 'things' I've asked for haven't come true. But I think God just has another plan for my life? As I wrote: He works on His time schedule, not mine, and He has the bigger picture.
What did I have to do? Just BELIEVE!!! I'd highly recommend you to do the same!
(John 11,40) Jesus saith unto her, Said I not unto thee, that, if thou wouldest believe, thou shouldest see the glory of God? Joyce puts it this way: believe and you will see the whole set-out, the whole glory of God!
Furthermore, my mother plays in the lottery each and every week I can recall, and she says she has a miserable life, too. First of all I think she doesn't win, because she doesn't pray, and because she doesn't appreciate her little money she wins each and every time (about 2 to 10 bugs usually), and secondly, why doesn't she start having fun finally? She just has this one life, and it'll be over too soon anyway, like all our lives will be over too quickly. I believe she doesn't receive, because she's not thankful for what she has, and because she doesn't ask the Lord for it. So why should God give her more if she's so discontent with what she has now? Do you agree? That might just be the answer to one of my unanswered prayers as well. I might not be too thankful in this one point myself. Or again, He has other plans for my life. Who knows?
I can't really recall how, but somehow I've come across 'Joyce Meyer'. She's my favourite American preacher. I still feel that the German church is so 'unctuous', plain boring. And I still refuse and shudder when I actually have to set a foot into our local church. But Joyce has set my head straight: I should go there, get involved at the local church, because I love God so much, not for any other reason.
Sure, what my friend Misty told me, made me be afraid. She said the bible says that the Lord will come back to earth during our lifetime. What now, if I'm not ready, if I'm going straight to hell then, because of my mistakes, instead of going to heaven? Well, I guess I will find out. But until then I will just simply continue to explore my faith, study the bible, and continue to speak about my good experiences with the Lord!
Oh yes, I was angry at times too, when the Lord took away my sister from me, three years ago. But he must have had the bigger picture back then already, that's why she wasn't supposed to have children, I guess. She didn't believe in God, she has left the church! If that had something to do with it, I don't know? I can just pray that she went to heaven nevertheless, but I just don't know. After her funeral I went to church and prayed for her, that the Lord would take care of her no matter what.
Here in MySpace I read for the first time the word 'agnostic', and I still can't find a translation for it. I was told it means 'undecided' about faith matters. Go figure that. And I thought 'atheist' is bad. How can people do that? Just to save taxes?
Joyce said last week: you should be worried if Satan doesn't tempt you. Then he might just not be interested in you. To me that says: you're not worth the fight, you're on my side anyway. Bad, huh?
Bayless Conley, Joel Osteen, and Creflo Dollar should be mentioned in this context also. They are preachers I like a whole lot! But Joyce is just the best, I think.
As you might be able to tell, I'm still in the middle of all this, but it makes me feel so extremely good to tell you all about it. And believe me, there's more to come…
Sending you God's blessings:
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